At this point in life...

There is a moment in life when you just realize that bitterness, resentment, and anger are not going to control you.  Mine came about 5 years ago on a fall day while looking out the window in my kitchen.  I remember the breeze blowing the already turned leaves with gusts that made the window whistle.  Something just spoke to me and said, be thankful for the life you've been given and accept that God has given you an opportunity to be something far greater than you can ever be alone, bitter, and full of resentment.  It was in that moment I accepted my life story as a blessing and not a mark of failure, shame, or negativity.  God allowed me to survive it all and I must find a purpose for that.  

Most would not ever understand the situations life has handed me and could not even begin to empathize.  I realized a long time ago that no matter how many people tell you that they understand what you're going through, they simply cannot be expected to.   I was uniquely formed and there is no one like me anywhere; therefore, only I can allow confusion, unanswered questions, anger, resentment, etc. to continue to lead my life. No one can understand this because they have not lived my life nor I theirs.   It was in that single moment that I realized I could not wait for anyone to apologize, explain, or offer apologies; I had to forgive it all now, no questions asked just as God always forgives me.

So it began, the mind-bending task of not only forgiving all who I harbored resentment for, but also asking God to do his will not mine.  This is certainly something each of us must do no matter how impossible it seems.  Bitterness and resentment only suck the life out of everything that can or will be good in your life.  It is time to make the decision.  Are you ready?

The following information will serve as my account of the events in my life.  I do not pretend to know that everything is accurate, but God knows the truth and he will be the judge of all.  I will share candidly the “life story” of a little girl who never seemed to have a home or somewhere to fit in until she asked God to do his will. Life is more than any of us can ever imagine and sometimes just knowing what others have conquered gives us strength to step forward and ask for help from someone who will never forsake us.  May you be blessed by what I share and may it give you strength or conviction in your own life.