I have been reading several books lately - going to book study, an online book/bible study, and Bible study on Wednesday nights, (book study) in Sunday school, and reading on my own. What I can tell you is that have become convicted about SO many things. Prayer, love, being a woman, but more importantly the challenge that God gives to us all to go and make disciples. I then begin to ask myself...who am I? I am not worthy of being a disciple. What can I offer? I am just one person in a huge plan - God's plan. Why me? I am no one, but an absolutely relentless sinner. I am inferior to all "those" who are what I see as righteous. Then it dawned on me - I am inferior. I am a relentless sinner. I am just one person in a huge plan. I am not worthy of being a disciple. The only thing I am afforded in this life is hell. Have you thought about that? Nothing in this life is certain, but hell is. For years we work to pursue a life worthy of deeming us worthy of heaven. Everyday we work towards "being good and heaven worthy" and yet we are still sinful, profane, unworthy, shameful, and completely naked to God...
I, for one, am appalled to think that all the attempts I make on a daily basis to be good enough are never going to make me good enough. You see, we will never be heaven worthy instead we are given a choice to accept a gift of heaven. Does that change what you think? It did for me. It changed EVERYTHING. I am a blip. I will always be unworthy and God knew this even before He formed me in my mothers’ womb. He knew I would never be worthy, but He loved me enough to offer me a choice - live for Jesus or don't. It's simple - believe Jesus died for me to save me from hell. That is the hardest gift I have ever accepted. Why? Because I know I will never be worthy of receiving, but I have to accept it otherwise His gift through death is nothing.
Where is my journey then? Where do I fit into His plan? I mean - really! Think about it. My 100 years max on this Earth are NOTHING in the grand scheme of this His eternal plan. So again - where do I fit into His plan? Well, it started before I was even conceived. He knew the disciple I could become. He knew every burden He would have to pull me through before I would willingly submit my heart to Him. He knew all of that. I ask you this - if you knew every heartache, joy, burden, disappointment, and tear you would shed would share when you met a "friend" would you give your heart to them? Would you befriend them anyway? No! Of course not! If you knew the disappointments, the tears, and burdens you would endure because of them you would avoid them at all costs. We as humans would never willingly submit ourselves to someone who would crush our pride, destroy our faith, crush our heart, and cause disappointments, tears, burdens for us, but you know what - God did! He knew every little thing that we would do and yet He still offers eternal life to us through His son Jesus Christ.
My journey will be short to Him, but long for His plans and me will always trump mine. Why would I think that I am worthy of anything? The truth is, I don't and that is exactly what keeps me from becoming the disciple He sees in me. I have to accept the gift and know that God - the one who knows everything about me - still took the time to eloquently form me, wrap me in my mother's womb, and present me to His world. He knew my potential. He knew the imperfections. He knew my failures even before He wrapped me up with more care than any of us can ever imagine. He considers me a beautiful gift and on top of all those wonderful things - He still presents me with a gift that was paid for with tears, blood, and death, but the moment He showed the world that He could overcome death – I became free.
Does that humble you? It does me. In the 100 years max I will be on this Earth I will never make myself worthy of heaven. I cannot make myself anything because I can make nothing. It is only through Our Master and Creator that anything can be made. Remember, He eloquently formed each part of me just the way He wanted me. He formed me and equipped me with everything I will need to be His disciple. Wow! Imagine that. He already equipped me and formed me to be the disciple He wanted. So, why wouldn't I want to share the gifts He gave me. I was worthy enough for Him to create me, mold me, and make me the disciple He knows His world needs. And you know what? I am not alone. You were formed exactly the same way - through His mercy, His plan, His skill, and His love. What are you going to do about it? Accept it and become the disciple He sees in you or decline the most precious gift God uniquely formed - YOU.
If your uniqueness is not humbling enough for you - think about this. God knew what the world needed. He knew we would have to be afforded the opportunity to be saved. He then created a man - so perfectly created and formed just like you and me- and commanded Him to His death for whom? You! Do you know what Jesus did with this unimaginable anguish and burden? He prayed face down and sweat blood. Can you imagine? I cannot. No matter the horrid things I have been through in my lifetime, nothing by comparison has ever made me feel that much grief and anguish. So - if you think - Jesus doesn't understand. Think again! We can't even begin to understand by comparison. God loved His Son, but He loved us too. He knew that without the death of His one and only Son we could never have eternal salvation. The moment Jesus died on the cross - sin was defeated. If there were no death - there would be no sin.
God HAD to send us a Savior because He loved us that much. I don't know about you, but I don't believe I could create someone out of love and then watch them die just because someone else needed saving. In our world that would be like making a decision to be a heart donor to save someone just because you don't need your heart. Right?!?! You don't need your heart! WOW! We have NO CLUE what God felt, the sacrifice He made, the strength it took to witness it, and the love He showed to us by allowing it. We're all clueless in our endeavor to conquer all of life's obstacles on our own. You see - even Jesus - the Son of Man, King of Kings, Lord of Lords needed God. He needed His father or He could not have died on the cross for you and me. So, what would make us think that we will ever become what God created us to be without Him?
The obstacles that are placed in front of us are there because God allowed them The sorrows and tears we cry are because He allowed them The joys, the triumphs, and happiness - the terror & fear - the mistakes, the mess ups make ...us human because God made us this way. He sent His one and only Son to die for us not because He had to prove something, but because He has crazy love for us. We are afforded hell not heaven. It is because of Jesus that we are given eternal life, but in that - we cannot pretend to be perfect because we will never be that and to pretend that the very things God allowed us to go through were not intended and share them is obscene. If God allowed it to be written into your book of life then we should share it. This is what “we” - sinful, profane, disgusting, unworthy, shameful, and completely naked - are called to do. So - my challenge to you is to accept the gift that has already been paid for. Accept and begin your journey to becoming the disciple He sees in you and created you to be.
________________________________________________________________________
"Living, He loved me. Dying, He saved me. Buried, He carried my sins far away. Rising, He justified freely forever. One day He’s coming. Oh glorious day!" Casting Crowns: Oh Glorious Day
"What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son, but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?" Romans 8:31-32
_______________________________________________________________________
No comments:
Post a Comment